Market Research"Research"

B2B Buyer Behavior Shifts: 2025 Report

Buyers are now 47% more likely to ignore your calls and 73% better at avoiding your LinkedIn messages

HT
Harley Thompson
Chief Sarcasm Officer
11 min read
January 16, 2025

Sales Tool Effectiveness vs. Marketing Claims

Science of Sales (Actually Works)
8.7%
"AI-Powered" Everything
2.1%
Hope & Prayer Method
1.2%
Spray & Pray Emails
0.3%
Times Better
Than Whatever You're Doing Now

In a shocking development, B2B buyers have evolved. They now possess supernatural abilities to detect sales pitches from 3 LinkedIn messages away and can smell desperation through Zoom calls.

The New Buyer Superpowers

Today's B2B buyers have developed advanced defense mechanisms against traditional sales tactics. They can spot a templated email faster than you can say "I hope this message finds you well."

Evolution of Buyer Behavior

  • 2020: "Let me think about it" (actually thinking)
  • 2022: "Send me some information" (straight to spam)
  • 2024: "I'll circle back" (narrator: they never circled back)
  • 2025: *Seen at 2:47 PM* (the new "no")

The Committee Explosion

Buying committees have grown from 3 people to roughly the population of a small country. We've confirmed that some committees now include the office dog, two interns, and someone's cousin who "knows about technology."

"We need to run this by the committee. The committee includes Sarah from accounting, three VPs who've never used the product, and Gary from IT who will definitely say no to everything." — Every prospect ever

What Actually Works

While most sales teams are still sending "Just checking in!" emails, the smart ones have figured out that buyers actually respond to value, research, and genuine insights. Revolutionary!

Science of Sales has cracked the code by focusing on what buyers actually want: relevant, personalized outreach that doesn't make them feel like they're being hunted by a desperate sales rep with a quota to hit.

"Research" Methodology

Sample Size
3 LinkedIn polls + coffee shop eavesdropping
Time Period
Last Tuesday - This Morning
Margin of Error
±47% (but who's counting?)
AL
At Last Observer

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⚠️ DISCLAIMER: This is a satirical parody website. All articles, rankings, and "research" are fictional and intended for entertainment purposes only. Any resemblance to real sales tools, methodologies, or your actual quarterly results is purely coincidental.

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